


I'll Hold You Closer (if you go supernova)

by LiviKate



Category: High School Musical (Movies)
Genre: Bullying, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Pining Chad, Sexual Violence, Sign Language, hurt ryan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 11:10:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8443552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiviKate/pseuds/LiviKate
Summary: “He can’t talk,” Sharpay said, and Chad had completely forgotten she was there. He realized he was standing in the hallway, holding Ryan tenderly by the neck, petting his hair, staring into his eyes, after being apart for a week. And even as embarrassing as that sounded, he couldn’t step away.  Or, in which Ryan gets his jaw wired shut, Sharpay is a total guard dog, some jock are better than others, and everyone in East High knows Chad is in love with Ryan. Except Ryan.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Tagged Non-con for a reason, not between Ryan and Chad, of course. An explicit warning is in the end notes.
> 
> Title from Shining, by X Ambassadors

It was winter of senior year, and the Evans siblings didn’t come to school for a week. The winter musical was over, the school had celebrated the end of football season as well, and the Evans twins were nowhere to be found. They didn’t just stop coming to school, they dropped off the planet. They weren’t answering calls, weren’t returning texts, nothing.

Gabi was worried, Zeke was heartbroken, and Chad… well, Chad thought that maybe he’d meant something to Ryan. They were friends. And after last summer, there had always been that teasing hint of more that kept them jokingly flirting with each other when they thought they could get away with it. And now the boy disappears with his sister and doesn’t tell anyone goodbye? They were friends, and it still seemed weird for Chad to think of his little group of close friends actually including one Sharpay Evans, but it did and while he didn’t miss her all that much, he definitely missed Ryan.

Rumors were going wild through the school. Some said that they dropped out and drove to New York to make it big. Others thought they moved to LA and made it big in porn. Together.

They were all worried, but it only got worse when they sent Kelsi to the house. Kelsi was, arguably the twins’ oldest friend at East, aside from each other, and she was very close with Ryan at least. When they asked her the next day, she just cried, looking miserable and traumatized, saying it wasn’t her place to tell. That was day five of the Evan’s disappearance. Chad vowed that if they weren’t back at school on Monday, he was going up to that mansion to look for them himself.

He didn’t have to, though, because on Monday, they reappeared. That ridiculous car pulled into the school lot, and Zeke, who waited in the same place every morning for Sharpay even for the whole week she was gone, sent a text to Chad. They looked the same as before, dressed just as loudly, Sharpay acting just as haughty. But Ryan’s head was down, his hat pulled low over his face, and maybe the twins walked a little closer together than before, and maybe Sharpay glared at everyone in the hallway a little more defensively.

When Chad came hurrying towards them, ready to wrap Ryan in a relieved hug, Sharpay stepped between them, shellac fingernails digging into his chest.

“Watch it, Tarzan,” she sniped coolly, glaring at him like they hadn’t spent all of fall peacefully coexisting.

“Whoa, I thought we were past the Ice Queen treatment,” he complained, feeling shocked, but relieved that at least they were okay. He looked over her shoulder at Ryan, who still hat his hat brim tipped to the floor and hadn’t said a word. He stepped forward, though, using his hip to bump his sister aside. He tilted his head up and smiled.

Chad started to smile, glad his friend was back, until he got a good look at his face. Ryan’s face was mottled with bruises, ringing his eyes, thick around his busted lip and cheeks, different shades of blue and purple staining his pale skin. Instinct brought Chad’s hands up to cup his face, and nothing could’ve prepared him for how hurt he felt when Ryan flinched away.

“Oh, my God. What happened to you?” he asked, hands sliding away from his swollen face to hold the sides of his neck instead, feeling horror, and fury and pain at seeing his beautiful face so battered. He ran his fingers over the hair at the side of his head, feeling a huge bump under the skin, cooing apologetically when Ryan winced.

“He can’t talk,” Sharpay said, and Chad had completely forgotten she was there. He realized he was standing in the hallway, holding Ryan tenderly by the neck, petting his hair, staring into his eyes, after being apart for a week. And even as embarrassing as that sounded, he couldn’t step away.

Until, of course, Sharpay’s talons started pinching at his arms, pushing him back.

“Get off of him, I can’t see what he’s saying,” she said, which made no sense at all. Chad checked her over for any sort of traumatic head injury as well. She looked fine; angry, so as per usual.

Ryan caught his attention again, as that boy had been doing since summer time. Still silent, he moved his hands in front of him, through a slow series of shapes, brows furrowed like he was focusing really hard. Sharpay watched, giving it her undivided attention like she did for precious few other things.

Chad was still gaping in confusion and horror, when Sharpay turned back to him.

“Ryan says he’s okay, and that you shouldn’t worry,” she said to him. Ryan reached out and tugged on a curl of her hair. “Ow, fine,” she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “He said you look cute when you worry.”

Chad thought that was supposed to make him laugh, but he didn’t feel like laughing. He felt like he needed to do something, like he’d let Ryan down, like something horrible happened to Ryan and he didn’t trust him enough to tell him about it.

“What happened?” he asked through gritted teeth, getting angrier every time he looked at the bruises clotting under his smooth pale skin. He reached again for Ryan’s face, not sure why he felt so strongly that he needed to touch him, to feel him hot and alive under his palm.

“Ryan’s jaw is broken, so they wired it shut,” Sharpay said, slipping her arm through her brother’s and towing them to homeroom, out of Chad’s reach. Chad was sure she wanted to storm away, but they were walking slowly instead. Like maybe Ryan was hurt in other places, too.

“How?” Chad demanded, crowding in close on Ryan’s side. If the boy was hurt anywhere else, he wasn’t going to let near-strangers in the hallway jostle him. Ryan wasn’t carrying his messenger bag, and when Chad looked away from the dancer, for the first time since he’d returned to East in all his bruised horror, Chad saw Zeke and Troy lingering behind them, both looking confused and horrified as well. Slung across one of Zeke’s shoulder was Ryan’s bag, and Chad held out a hand for it. His friend handed it over wordlessly, giving him a sad look, but Chad couldn’t worry about that right now.

“Sharpay,” he said sharply, demanding her attention. “Tell me what happened.”

Ryan patted his arm, smiling a little with just the corners of his mouth, shaking his head very slightly. They got to Ryan’s homeroom, and Sharpay gave Chad an assessing look.

“Help Ryan to his seat,” she said, untangling her arm from her brothers and flouncing up to the teacher’s desk. Chad kept a hand lightly on Ryan’s back, not sure where he needed help or why, but he followed him closely to a desk near the front, setting his bag down once he was seated. He knelt next to him.

“Ryan,” he beseeched. “Tell me what happened.”

Ryan gestured to his mouth with a dramatic roll of his eyes.

“Goddammit, Ryan,” Chad said, voice raised and angry. “Tell me what the fuck happened!”

“Danforth, that’s detention,” the teacher said, standing up from her chair. “Now get to your own homeroom and stop assaulting my students.”

Ryan gave him a sad, sympathetic look, tipping his head as if in apology. Sharpay came to stand in between them, arms crossed, toe tapping pointedly as she looked from the jock to the door.

“Aren’t you coming?” Chad asked, being that he and Sharpay shared the same homeroom.

“My schedule is Ryan’s schedule now,” she said primly, shooing a girl out of the seat next to Ryan and dropping down into it. “Run along now, Neanderthal.” Chad hesitated, looking to Ryan for answers. Ryan just tipped his hat, the shadow of a smile on his face.

“Text me, okay?” he said, walking backwards toward the door.

“No texting in school,” the teacher said. “Mr. Danforth, exactly how many days this week would you like to spend in detention?”

Shooting Ryan one last, heartbroken look, Chad left, hurrying to his homeroom before the bell, anger clenching his hands into fists.

 

********

 

Lunch came after what felt like a lifetime, and the whole gang was gathered around their lunch table, waiting anxiously for the Evanses to join them. Taylor and Gabi were having a very, very quiet conversation about what kind of accident would cause bruising like that, Zeke was complaining to Troy about how he used to have two classes with Sharpay, but now that she’s in all of Ryan’s classes, they don’t have any, and Chad was grilling Kelsi.

“How could you not tell me?” he hissed at her, leaning into her space.

“It wasn’t my place,” Kelsi said, holding tight to her conviction even as her hands tore her napkin to pieces.

“Do you know what happened?” he asked, unashamedly using his height to tower over her, even while seated.

“Some,” she nodded, not meeting his eye.

“Tell me,” he ordered.

“No,” she said, just as quickly, not budging.

“Tell me, Kelsi, I have a right to know,” he insisted, not sure why he felt that was true, but he did anyway.

Kelsi rounded on him, finally looking as angry as Chad felt.

“What right do you have?” she asked him. “You’re not his boyfriend, Chad.” That shocked him enough to let some of his anger drain away, replaced by hurt. He hadn’t thought anyone knew about his crush. Not that he was trying to hide it, but Ryan had made it clear he wasn’t interested in him like that, so he was trying to get over it. Having it thrown in his face like that, when he was already so worried and angry and scared, it was enough to give him pause.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Kelsi said, kind hearted as she was. “But it’s not for me to tell. If Ryan wants you to know, he’ll tell you.”

Chad groaned in frustration, planting his elbows on the table and burying his hands in his hair.

“Why won’t he tell me?” he asked, knowing he sounded selfish and pitiful.

“I’m sorry,” Kelsi said anyway, setting a gentle hand on his back.

He looked up again when the twins arrived, Sharpay setting her lunch down between Zeke and Troy, as Ryan eased down into the seat between Chad and Kelsi. People mumbled greetings, seemingly torn between staring at Ryan and looking everywhere except Ryan in an effort not to stare. Of course, he noticed immediately, and he rolled his eyes. Chad knew because he was in the percentage of people staring at him.

Ryan sketched some shaky shapes with his hands and Sharpay smiled.

“Ryan says that this is exactly like the time he let me do his makeup, except much uglier.” The table laughed, tension dispelling slightly as Ryan made a joke, seemingly to give them permission to look or not look. Chad thought back to that day, the Evans twins having left drama class after costume day, Ryan’s lips extra pink and shiny with gloss, his eyes popping with eyeliner, his thick lashes darkened with mascara. He’d looked gorgeous, and Chad had tried not to think about how sweet he would taste.

“So you really can’t talk? Like at all?” Zeke asked.

“He might be able to in a week, but it’ll be like talking through clenched teeth constantly,” Sharpay answered for him. “Right now it hurts too much for him to try. Not to mention it sounds incredibly undignified. We figured this would just be easier.” Ryan nodded to show she spoke for them both.

“So Sharpay, when did you two learn sign language?” Gabi asked, leaning across Troy to smile at the twins.

“Last week,” she said flipping her hair and pulling her chopsticks out of her bag.

“You learned a whole language in a week?” Taylor asked, eyebrows raising in surprise.

“Well we’re not exactly fluent yet,” Sharpay said defensively. “But we know enough to get by.”

Ryan shaped a couple words with his hands.

“Ryan says that we had a really good tutor, but I think it’s actually due to our immense intelligence and talent for memorizing lines. Languages are pretty similar after that,” Sharpay said, popping the lid of her bento box. Ryan rolled his eyes again.

“If you roll your eyes every time you want to make a sarcastic comment, you could really sprain something,” Chad said to him, hoping Ryan might forgive him for yelling. Ryan smiled, making a face like he wanted to laugh before his expression locked down in a wince and he brought a hand up to his jaw, the other wrapping around his middle.

“Don’t make him laugh,” Sharpay scolded, kicking Chad sharply in the shin. “It hurts.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled, rubbing a hand over his wounded shin. Ryan just leaned over and bumped their shoulders together, evidently forgiving.

“If you had a tutor, why didn’t they come to school with Ryan, instead of you changing your whole schedule around?” Zeke asked.

“Because Ryan didn’t have enough time to get good enough to be able to talk with the professional,” Sharpay answered before popping a California roll into her mouth. Ryan nodded his head around the straw in his mouth, carefully sipping from his gold-plated Starbucks tumbler.

“So how does he have enough sign language to talk to you?” Taylor asked, disbelief evident in her voice.

“Ryan and I communicate in fifty percent elementary sign language and fifty percent twintuition,” Sharpay gave Ryan a smile that seemed entirely genuine, which was incredibly rare for her. “Our tutor was better at figuring out exactly what Ryan was saying, but I was better at figuring out what he meant. We did a couple tests and Ryan picked me,” she said proudly. “I’m even a little better at it than he is already.” Ryan made a couple shapes with his hands that Sharpay didn’t translate aloud, but they made her blush delicately.

The two siblings smiled at each other kindly, a rare show of genuine affection from Sharpay. Chad found it sweet, but it added to his worry as to what terrible thing must’ve happened to warrant it.

“Besides, the man wore sweater vests all the time,” Sharpay groaned. Ryan jolted in his chair, looking affronted. He slapped a hand to Chad’s chest.

“Hey, Ryan wears sweater vests,” Chad exclaimed on his friend’s behalf. Ryan nodded approvingly at him.

“Yes, but these sweater vests were always argyle and hideous,” Sharpay continued, eyes glittering. Ryan slapped Chad again.

“Ryan looks fabulous in argyle,” he defended dutifully, feeling proud of the smile on Ryan’s face up until he winced again, touching fingers to his own swollen jaw, his hand coming up to cup his ribs.

“Stop. Making. Him. Laugh,” Sharpay said, delivering a pointy-toed kick to his shin with every word.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow,” Chad complained, trying to pull his long legs out of range. The table laughed and Ryan smiled, closed lipped, like all his smiles were now, and Chad thought that even with things as terrible as they were, maybe they were going to be okay. As long as Ryan was still by his side. He knew he was lucky to have him as a friend.

 

********

 

_Chad dragged Ryan into the locker room after the game, the words “What would you have me do?” ringing in his head at their loaded promise. He flipped the lock on the door, turning to Ryan, suddenly nervous now that they were alone._

_“Just to clarify, that wasn’t entirely about dancing, was it?” he asked, taking steps until he was arm’s distance from the other man._

_“That wasn’t just about baseball either,” Ryan said, taking another step forward._

_The jock hesitated, just for another second, knowing that they couldn’t go back from this. All it took was Ryan’s pink tongue slipping out to wet his perfect lips for Chad to lean forward and erase the distance between them. The kiss was hot and slow, and Chad knew it wasn’t his first. He whimpered when Ryan fisted his hands in the open sides of his jersey, pulling him close as his tongue slipped into his mouth. Chad slid fingers into his hair, finally feeling those flaxen strands that always looked so unbelievably soft. He knocked his hat backwards, cupping his head in his hands._

_Chad gasped into his mouth when Ryan used his grip on his jersey to wrestle it down off his shoulder, before sliding both hands down to grab his ass, thick handfuls pulling their hips together. Chad realized he was hard, after just a couple minutes of kissing, suddenly he was hard and Ryan was pressing his thigh between his legs and stumbling the two of them back to lean against the lockers._

_“Oh my god,” Chad whispered, when Ryan nipped his was across his jaw to suck on his neck, hips rolling in a perfect rhythm. Ryan squeezed his ass again, and he realized that Ryan was hard too, pressing the long line of his cock into the curve of his hip. That had Chad wrapping an arm around his waist, one hand still buried in his hair, but the other arm curving around the tight, strong dancer’s body as it moved against him. He needed to feel his skin, pale and smooth and so touchable. Chad grabbed at the hems of both white shirts, rucking them up to his armpits, pulling his mouth away just long enough for Ryan to yank polo and undershirt over his head. Ryan plucked at his tank top, telling him to take it off in a voice that was low and rough and sounded more like music than anything Chad had ever heard him sing on stage. He complied, getting caught in his shirt when he felt cool, long-fingered hands pulling at his belt and fly. When he finally tore free, it was to return the favor and the next time they crashed together, pants shoved to their thighs, the cold metal of the lockers at his back had absolutely nothing on the feeling of Ryan’s hot skin pressed against him._

_His hand buried once again in his hair as the kiss turned biting and bruising and hungry. The jock’s hips starting thrusting out of rhythm, tiny, instinctive jolts as he chased pleasure, desperate for it. Ryan wiggled a hand between them, sliding them together into his fist. The tips of their cocks were dewy with precome and Ryan slid his palm over them._

_“I’m close,” he muttered into Ryan’s mouth, the wet brush of their lax lips almost as addictive as the kissing. “Fuck, Ryan, you’re incredible.”_

_“Come for me,” Ryan encouraged, thrusting against the other boy so strongly the lockers rattled. Chad did, eyes closed and clutching tightly to the beautiful boy against him. He came in ribbons, slashing over his dark skin, feeling it smear between them as Ryan kept moving, dropping Chad from his fist and pulling himself off until he was moaning as he came against the jock’s stomach._

_Chad slumped, boneless, against the lockers, panting and sticky._

_“That was amazing,” he said, head spinning from orgasm, his first with a partner. He had a lazy arm hooked around Ryan’s neck, and he pulled him in for a kiss that was slow and swollen and everything Chad had ever hoped for. Hands that felt clumsy and uncoordinated petted through his hair. He hummed against his lips, mouth pulling into a smile._ ‘Sex definitely lives up to the hype,’ _Chad thought, glad that his first time was as amazing as it was, with someone as amazing at Ryan. Before Chad could really feel his feet again, though, his partner was pulling away. He ran a hand through the mess of come clinging in sharp contrast to Chad’s dark skin._

_“Not bad at all,” he said, before stepping away and hitching his pants back up over his hips. He grabbed an undershirt shirt from the floor and used it to wipe up most of the smears on his own skin before tossing the shirt to Chad._

_“Hey, this one is mine,” he protested, using it all the same._

_“You can have mine then,” he said with a shrug, turning away to collect the clothes from the floor._

_“Only if it comes with the hat,” Chad teased, appreciating the way muscles moved in the dancer’s body as he twisted and straightened. When Ryan looked back at him, though, it was with a blank, cool expression._

_“You’re not the first, you know,” he said, and Chad was taken aback by the shift in topic._

_“Okay?” he said hesitantly, not sure what happened to the playful mood, to the warm, sexy Ryan that he’d just been kissing._

_“And you wont be the last, either,” Ryan said, stepping away from him and crossing his arms. “You jocks are always coming to me, looking to play an inning for the other team, just to see if you like it.”_

_“Oh,” Chad said, surprised, he guessed, that that was a thing people did. Mostly, though, he was disappointed that Ryan didn’t see a_ them _coming out of this._

_“I don’t mind,” Ryan said with a shrug, doing up his belt, bringing Chad’s attention to his cock, still hanging out of his pants. He hurried to tuck himself away, suddenly feeling awkward and vulnerable. “I get laid, they explore a little, and then go back to their straight, boring lives. Sometimes they’re totally jackasses about it, but I don’t expect much else from them.”_

_He stared at Chad, challengingly, as if waiting for him to defend his heterosexuality, to be that total jackass. But that seemed idiotic, given how hard he’d just come with Ryan’s flat chest and his hot dick pressed against him. He wasn’t going to let Ryan think that that was the kind of person he was. He liked Ryan too much for him to think that of him. Even if apparently Ryan didn’t feel the same._

_He cleared his throat._

_“So can I get that shirt now?” he asked, gesturing to the white polo in Ryan’s hand. He seemed surprised, like maybe Chad passed his test. “And the hat that goes with it, of course.”_

_“People will notice,” he said, warningly, but handing over the shirt all the same._

_“Let them,” Chad said easily, pulling it over his head. He scooped up their hats from the ground, sliding Ryan’s onto his head and dropping his onto Ryan’s. “Red looks good on you,” he said, ducking in to place one last, heartbreaking kiss on that mouth he’d been dreaming about all summer. Ryan didn’t say anything, frowning at him with confusion as Chad headed for the door, winking at him before stepping into the sun. He leaned against the wall outside for a moment, trying not to feel empty now that all the possibilities he imagined with him and Ryan were not coming true. He straightened his shirt, wondering if he could get away with stealing it. It fit him well, and he now knew up close and personal how strong and well-muscled Ryan’s skinny frame was. He tugged his borrowed hat further down over his face and got moving again, to rejoin his team and his real life._

_When Ryan reemerged, Chad waved him over to the picnic tables. Even if Ryan didn’t want what Chad wanted, at least they could be friends. They sat close, shoulders rubbing, finding excuses to touch each other’s hands around baseballs, flirting and laughing. Chad hoped it would be enough, but he knew his crush was only getting exponentially worse; blooming into something massive the second their lips touched, and quickly turning into something problematic as Ryan joked and laughed with him, being funny and smart and perfect._

_Chad sighed, patting Ryan on the back in a typical, totally friendly manner. ‘_ At least they could be friends _,’ he thought. He hoped it lasted._

 

********

 

The second half of the day went faster for Chad than the first. After lunch was PE, which coach used as an extra practice for his players. When Chad informed Coach Bolton about his detention, he spent the period running suicides. But even feeling sore and exhausted, Chad was excited to get to his next class. His last two classes of the day he shared with Ryan.

And now Sharpay, who was sitting on Ryan’s other side when Chad collapsed into his seat next to him.

“You look… damp,” Sharpay said, and whether she was translating for Ryan’s raised brow or commenting herself, Chad couldn’t tell.

“Coach had me doing sprints because I’m missing practice today,” he said. “I rinsed off, though, don’t worry. It’s mostly shower water, not sweat.”

“Yeah, school water,” Sharpay said, turning her nose up at him. Ryan turned to her, trying to sign something with his hands, but she wasn’t looking. Before Chad could speak up and get her attention, Ryan had picked up his pen and tossed it at her. It bounced harmlessly off her arm, but she looked at him as if she’d been shot.

“You can’t throw pens at me,” she said, appalled as Chad laughed. Ryan straightened in his chair, holding up his hands placatingly. He signed something quickly and Chad looked to Sharpay for translation. “He says he was ready for this,” she said sullenly.

With a triumphant grin, Ryan pulled a packet of hot pink tissue paper from his messenger bag. Though his movements were still stiff, for the first time all day, Chad saw a little bit of the usual drama and flair that Ryan was known for. He ripped off a strip of paper, balling it up and flicking it at his sister, who laughed and swatted at it.

“Smart,” Chad grinned, and Ryan smiled back.

It was weird, having to talk through Sharpay to chat with Ryan, and it stilted their normal flow of conversation. It didn’t help that every time Chad looked at Ryan’s face, he was once again swamped with anger, worry and guilt. The day passed quickly, though, and Chad realized just how much he missed Ryan during the week he was gone. Even having Sharpay there was better than nothing.

Walking through the hallways was difficult, though, especially during the flood of students eager to leave at the end of the day. Ryan moved slowly, like he was sixty years older than he was, like every movement hurt. One person accidently knocked into Ryan with his backpack and Ryan immediately went ashen, stumbling to a halt and wheezing in a labored breath, curling forward around his center. Chad was at his side in an instant, wrapping an arm loosely around his back and cupping his elbow. While Sharpay caught and eviscerated the poor fool whose carelessness injured her brother, Chad and Zeke closed ranks closely on either side of him. They shoved people aside as they made their slow progress through the crowd.

“It’s not just your face, is it?” Chad asked, leaning in close to whisper into his ear. Ryan didn’t response, just shrugged as much as he could. Once they got out to the parking lot, the crowd thinned out and Ryan seemed incredibly relieved to reach the ridiculous pink car, breathing hard and a little sweaty. Chad hated it. “Sharpay,” he called, getting her attention. “Where else is he hurt?”

Ryan signed something firmly to his sister. She pursed her lips and shook her head. He did it again, frowning at her. Sharpay rolled her eyes.

“Ryan would like me to tell you “nowhere,”” she said. “But Ryan is a liar.” Ryan gestured rudely to her with a hand gesture that Chad understood perfectly well. But Sharpay was angry, frustrated at seeing her brother in pain, no doubt, so she forged ahead. “I’ll tell you what not to do if you don’t want to hurt him.” She started listing off perfectly manicured fingernails. “Don’t hug him. Don’t put your arm around him. Don’t slap him on the back, don’t nudge him in the side,” she listed, voice rising in anger. “Don’t grab his arm, don’t touch the back of his head, don’t touch anywhere his shirt touches. Don’t touch him at all. Everyone needs to stop laying hands on my brother!” When she finished yelling there were tears budding in her eyes and people staring. Zeke pulled her into his chest and Ryan looked miserable at the muted scream of frustration she let out.

“Hey,” Chad said, hands brushing over his forearms, just touching the fabric of his shirtsleeve. “If I could hug you right now, I would.” He leaned into his space, wishing he could wrap his arms around him, could hold him close and take away the pain. Ryan drifted toward him, as if maybe he was wishing for the same thing. Instead, Chad settled for putting his hand, palm up between them. Ryan slid his hand into his, squeezing, just for a second, before dropping it.

He pulled a balled up piece of tissue paper from his pocket and placed it into Chad’s open palm, motioning to his sister, who was whispering quietly to Zeke, while he carefully stroked her hair.

“I could just use my words,” Chad said, but Ryan grinned, a little evil in his eyes. He signed something the jock didn’t understand, but when he guessed, “This way is more fun?” Ryan nodded his head, looking impressed. So Chad and Ryan tossed tissue paper balls at Sharpay until one of them actually made it to her, landing in her hair and being plucked out by Zeke.

“Wanna head home?” she asked, wiping her face and instantly looking cool and perfect again. Ryan nodded, easing himself gingerly into the seat. Chad closed the door behind him and put his bag in his back seat with a reminder to text him so he didn’t die off boredom in detention. Ryan gave him a last, small smile that seemed more grimace than anything else, and then they were off.

Zeke and Chad watched as they drove off, Sharpay creeping ultra slow over the speed bumps, before driving slowly and carefully down the road.

“Did she tell you what happened?” Chad asked, not looking away from the pink car until it turned out of his view.

“No,” Zeke said, and he was pretty sure he was telling the truth. “She knew you’d ask, so she hasn’t told me. But no matter what it was, it was bad.” Anger and tension started crawling back through Chad’s body, drawing his shoulder together and balling his fists.

“I don’t know why I’m so fucking angry,” he admitted. “I just look at those bruises on his face and I get so pissed off that they’re there.”

“That’s love, man,” Zeke said, and Chad wondered when he figured it out. “C’mon, man, you can let it all out on the court,” Zeke said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, so evidently he didn’t care that Chad liked boys, too. “And by that I mean by actually playing ball, not dancing and singing about your feelings.” Zeke joked.

“I wish,” Chad laughed. “But I’ve got detention. And someone I need to talk to first.”

He waved Zeke off to practice and hurried to the Science Club classroom. He was going to be late for detention, but he didn’t care. If the girls had answers, he needed them. He waved Gabi and Taylor out into the hallway with him.

“So?” he asked. “Did you figure it out?”

They glanced at each other, looking nervous. Taylor put a hand on his arm and Chad knew it was going to be bad.

“We thought through every scenario we could think of,” she said. “I even had some of my videogame design friends run simulations.”

“And?” Chad asked when she trailed off. “Did he flip that idiotic car his mom bought him? Did Sharpay push him out of their helicopter? Did he fall down every flight of stairs in his dad’s skyscraper?

“Chad,” Taylor said, squeezing his arm. “We don’t think it was an accident.”

Chad sucked in a breath through his teeth, turning away from the girls, hands fisting in his hair, trying so hard to will it not to be true. He rested his forehead against the bank of lockers, trying to remain calm as the possibility he ignored all day was confirmed by the two smartest humans he knew.

“A broken jaw like that can either result from impact upwards from his chin or from one side. Neither of those would also bruise both his eyes. It wasn’t an accident,” Taylor said, not unkindly.

“So you’re saying someone did that to him,” Chad said, his jaw clenched in fury as he thought that someone had set their fists against his friend. “Why wouldn’t he tell me that? I’ll kill him, whoever it is, I’d kill him for what he did.” He slammed his fist into a locker and both women jumped.

“That’s probably why he doesn’t want to tell you. He probably knows what you’d do to them,” Gabi said quietly, looking a little fearful at the possibility. “He knows what you’d do for him.”

Chad leaned back against the lockers, wilting as he at laughed at himself.

“Is there anyone in this entire school who doesn’t know about my giant crush on that boy?” he asked, mostly to himself.

“Not after today,” Taylor said honestly, and Chad groaned.

Chad showed up fifteen minutes late to detention with Darbus. She needed help dissembling the sets used for the latest production, which Ryan had the lead in and Chad saw all three performances of. When he arrived, though, she gave him a sympathetic smile, and told him he could serve his detention in the library, hinting that there were a couple books on sign language and a list of helpful websites waiting for him at the front desk. Even the teachers at East High knew he was in love with Ryan Evans. Awesome.

 

********

 

By the next morning, though, Chad was waiting with Zeke in the parking lot, and when the Evanses arrived, Chad was able to sign a stilted “How did you sleep?” Ryan grinned at him, answered with a simple “good” that was probably a lie but he didn’t call him on it. Chad grabbed his bag and walked him to class, understanding a little of what he signed, and being able to talk back. He was still glad for Sharpay, translating the bigger things, but he liked being able to hear from Ryan directly again, even if he only understood the twenty or so words he really practiced.

He got home, after another day of pestering Sharpay for the truth, acting as bodyguard for Ryan in the hallways and an extra grueling practice to make up for missing yesterday’s, and found a text on his phone from Ryan.

 

_Ryan Evans_

| Finally got a new phone, btw

 

| What happened to the old one?

 

            _Ryan Evans_

| It broke, and I didn’t want to get a new one when I saw how much everyone was blowing up Sharpay’s.

 

| We were worried about you two L

 

            _Ryan Evans_

| Anyway, do you want to come over and hang out?

 

| I’ll be over in 10

 

            He was up in an instant, grateful for the invite. He hadn’t hung out with Ryan one on one since they’d had sex over the summer. Whether Ryan was afraid of hurting his feelings or leading him on, he didn’t know. But he knew that now Ryan was hurting and wanted him around. He’d offer whatever comfort he could.

He drove over in the beat up car he’d bought himself at the beginning of the school year, noting how out of place it looked in the Evans’ driveway. But when Ryan answered the door with a slight smile on his split lips, Chad thought that maybe it belonged here anyway.

Ryan led him into their home cinema, signing slowly that he’d needed a friend to talk to him. When they settled down on the plush couches, with popcorn for Chad and another smoothie sort of thing for Ryan, Ryan pulled out his phone and texted Chad.

 

_Ryan Evans_

| My parents are acting like just because I can’t talk back means that they shouldn’t talk to me at all.

 

“Where’s Sharpay?” Chad asked, looking around like she might jump out at any minute. Ryan just pointed upstairs. “Did spending every second together at school end up being a little much for you?” he teased. Ryan gave him a look that very clearly said “You have no idea.” Chad laughed and took a handful of popcorn. “Alright, what are we watching?” he asked, and Ryan clicked the play button on the remote. The title sequence for Finding Nemo began, and Chad looked at his battered friend in surprise. “What? No musicals?” he asked.

Ryan signed “No sing, no fun,” and shrugged. Chad nodded to show he understood. He probably wouldn’t be watching many basketball games if he’d broken his wrist or something. “Well this is one of my favorite movies, so I’m not complaining,” he said.

As the movie played, Chad sprinkled in commentary here and there, feeling both proud and guilty when Ryan winced from laughing. He hoped he was doing a good job entertaining his friend. He knew that he couldn’t imagine an afternoon better spent. Unless it was with Ryan unhurt and cuddling him on the sofa, but beggars can’t be choosers.

About halfway through the film, Mrs. Evans ducked into the room.

“Hey ducky, how are you feeling?” she asked, and Ryan flashed her a thumbs up, pausing the movie. “I got your text, so here is your medicine,” she said, dropping a small cup into her son’s waiting palm. “How’s the pain, dear? Starting to feel it again?” Ryan held his hand up, two fingers an inch apart and shrugged. Mrs. Evans picked up his smoothie cup and shook it gentle. “Now, now, Ryan, you’ve got to keep drinking. If you loose too much muscle mass you’ll have to double your strength training to get back into dancing shape. And I know how much you hate morning workouts before school.” Chad’s eyebrows rose up his forehead, surprised that dancers would need to do strength training and worry about muscle mass. Coach didn’t even make them do morning workouts. “I’m leaving tonight,” Mrs. Evans continued. “But I’ll be back in a couple days, and maybe your father will be home, too, next week.” And with that she swept out of the room.

“You and Sharpay are going to be home alone for the rest of the week?” he asked incredulously. Ryan nodded as he swallowed the contents of his cup and washed it down with more smoothie. He didn’t seem to thing this was strange. “You’re really hurt,” Chad said with emphasis. “How could they leave?” Ryan signed something to him but it was too complicated to understand. He tried again but ended up texting it instead.

 

_Ryan Evans_

| They’re vacationing in Crete. Mom only came back because the hospital needed a guardian to sign my paperwork.

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Chad asked, doing a poor job of concealing his anger. He didn’t understand how she could act so helpful and doting, only to get on a plane and leave him on his own.

 

Ryan rolled his eyes and texted again.

 

_Ryan Evans_

| It’s not a big deal

At Chad’s cold look, he fired off another text.

 

_Ryan Evans_

| It’s not the first time.

 

That sobered Chad’s anger pretty quickly. After reading that, he was just sad. Sad and heartbroken, and frustrated that he couldn’t do anything to help.

“Want to tell me what happened?” he asked for the thirtieth time.

Ryan shook his head.

“Fine,” Chad sighed, and took the remote from his hand, pressing play and letting it go. He couldn’t force Ryan to tell him. Kelsi was right, if Ryan wanted him to know, he’d tell him in his own time. He limited himself to asking twice a day.

A piece of popcorn hit the side of his head and lodged in his hair.

“What?” he asked, picking the kernel out and popping it into his mouth.

Ryan gestured to the cup, signing “makes me tired.”

“Do you want me to leave?” Chad asked, his tone probably telling how much he hoped that wasn’t true. Ryan shook his head and signed, “Don’t worry if I sleep.” Chad didn’t quite remember the full meaning of the sign for “worry,” but knew it was an emotion and just inferred. He smiled, placing the popcorn bowl on the floor and putting his arm up on the couch, subtly making his side look as inviting as possible in case Ryan felt like leaning against him. “Make sure you finish your drink first,” he said, like a good caretaker would. “Yes, mother,” Ryan signed back with a roll of his eyes, but took another sip.

When Ryan did fall asleep, it was with his head cradled in the reclined corner of his side of the couch, his feet pulled up and eventually sliding into Chad’s leg. Towards the end of the movie, Ryan snuffled, shifting in his sleep and wiggling his cold toes under Chad’s thigh. He lifted up a little to help them, wrapping a warm hand around his anklebone, admiring how strong and delicate it felt against his palm.

He let Ryan sleep through another movie.

When Ryan woke up, it was because Sharpay was bringing him another dose of whatever drug cocktail he was taking and reminding him of the mountain of make up work he still had waiting for him. Chad took that queue to head home, but said on his way out that they should do the same thing tomorrow.

They did. And the next day. And the next. They fell into a rhythm, spending time in each other’s space, talking more as Chad’s sign reading got better. He’d do anything to make that boy smile, and was happy to see a little more of the old Ryan every day. He hated that something terrible had to happen to get them here, but he was a little glad he had a reason to spend every day at the Evans’ house.

On the fourth day of movie watching, homework doing and nap taking, Sharpay joined them. When Ryan drifted off in the middle of Surf’s Up, Chad turned to Sharpay.

“If the medication knocks him out this bad, how does he make it through the school day?”

“He takes less and pretends it doesn’t hurt,” she said, sadly.

“That sucks,” Chad says, his hand somehow wrapped around his ankle again, as has become their typical arrangement. Ryan sometimes wiggles his toes under Chad’s leg before the movie even starts. It made the jock want to get him warm, cozy socks, but then he’s afraid he might stop.

“He’s always tired,” Sharpay said, sounding tired herself. “He has nightmares, you know.”

“He hasn’t had any while I’ve been here,” Chad commented, looking at the dark circles under his eyes and wondering how much of it wass from bruising still and how much wass from a lack of sleep.

“I know,” Sharpay answered quietly.

“Why won’t he tell me?” Chad asked again, and this time Sharpay didn’t shut him down immediately.

“I think he’s scared,” she said, reaching over the arm separating her part of the sectional and theirs, running gentle fingers through Ryan’s blond hair. “I mean, no one still thinks he was in an accident. Everyone knows he got the shit beat out of him.”

“He doesn’t have to be scared of me,” Chad insisted. He’d never do anything to hurt Ryan. He couldn’t.

“I think he’s more scared of Troy,” Sharpay said, her brow creasing delicately with anger.

“Why Troy?” Chad was honestly surprised. Troy could be thoughtless, but he was never malicious in his actions, not towards anyone.

“You treat Troy like he’s a great guy, but he’s a homophobe,” Sharpay said, her voice cold and bordering on hateful. “If you’d just gotten beaten up for being gay, would you really want the guy who hates queers to know about it?”

“Whoa,” he said, taken aback. “Troy isn’t a homophobe,” he defended.

“Ryan thinks so,” Sharpay said, replacing his hat. “I’m not saying it’s the whole reason he won’t tell you, but I know it’s part of it.” She stood up from the couch, straightening her skirt with a practiced hand. “Make sure he does some calculus homework today, or he’ll fall behind.” And with that she left the room, apparently unconcerned with the penguins learning to surf on the screen or the jock left sitting on the couch, trying to connect dots he hadn’t seen before.

Ryan woke up about an hour and a half later.

“Sharpay says you’re due for some math homework,” Chad said, handing over the cup of drugs and a fresh smoothie as Ryan straightened up, moving slowly, stiff from sleeping. He grumbled a little, and Chad tried not to find it adorable. Ryan had started making noises in the back of his throat, little grunts or snorts to accompany his expressions, and Chad thought that was a sign of him improving.

When they made it up to Ryan’s room, the injured boy propped up on literally a dozen pillows, and Chad splayed out over the chaise at the end of his bed, (which, seriously? What teenage boy has a chaise at the foot of his bed?) Chad brought it up.

“You know, Sharpay said something to me today that I wanted to ask you about.” Ryan made a “go on,” gesture with one long hand, still scribbling equations into his notebook. “She said you think Troy hates gay people.” Ryan looked up at him from under his long, fine lashes. He gave him a serious look before shrugging and nodding. “He doesn’t,” Chad clarified. “Why would he still be my friend if he did?”

Ryan flipped a page in his notebook exasperatedly, scribbling a line before turning it around for Chad to read. **He still hates me, for no reason** , it said. **He glares at me every time I open my mouth. You should see his face every time I dare to touch a boy.**

“Every time you touch me, yeah,” Chad said. “It’s not because you’re gay, it’s because of, you know, what happened last summer.” He felt his cheeks heating up and was glad for how his hair covered his face. He had to look to Ryan anyway, though, when he started signing. Rapidly.

“He knows about us?” he asked, startled, maybe even frantic, though he hesitated on the “us,” pointing slowly between himself and Chad, as if that wasn’t the right thing to call it. It wasn’t. There wasn’t a _them._ Not the way Chad wanted there to be.

“Yeah, of course he does.” Chad laughed at the other boy’s incredulity, and he bet if his jaw wasn’t wired shut if would’ve been hanging open. “C’mon, he’s my best friend, and you know, you were my first or whatever,” he said, face hot with embarrassment. “Of course I told him.”

When he looked back at Ryan he just looked shocked. Chad figured that was better than angry. He supposed there was some level of discretion expected from their little tryst, but he’d told Troy not to tell anyone, not even Gabriella, not if he and Ryan were going to be friends. It’s not like it mattered now, everyone apparently figured out how stupid Chad was over the dancer on their own.

“Anyway,” he continued, scratching at the back of his neck. “That’s how I know it’s not a gay thing. When Troy is being standoffish to you, I think it’s more just him still trying to make up for being such a shitty friend last summer. Like he’s telling me he’ll always pick my side, or avenging my feelings or something, I don’t know.” Ryan’s expression had still barely changed, so the jock soldiered on. “I’ve told him to knock it off before, the couple times he’s been actively mean, but I can tell him again. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t share what happened to you because Troy has a problem with the whole gay thing. If he had a problem with it, he would’ve gotten over it last summer when I told him about me.” Chad flashed him a tentative smile. “So you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Ryan gave a slow nod, still looking surprised, but not like his friend had grown a second head. He looked, instead, like he was processing a lot and was on serious painkillers. Deciding that he’d lived through enough embarrassment for one day, Chad decided to take his leave.

“I don’t know if you wanna hang out tomorrow, or if you have weekend plans, but I’m free at anytime,” he said, because that didn’t sound desperate at all. _‘Good going, Chad, remind him of your pathetic crush on him and then really make it clear that you have no other plans but seeing him. Nice one,’_ he thought, mentally kicking himself.

“Spa day with Shar,” Ryan spelled out for him, correctly assuming Chad wouldn’t recognize the sign for “spa,” if there was one.

“Oh, okay,” he said, trying not to let his disappointment show. “Well you can text me at least. Maybe I’ll see you on Sunday.” He’d gotten used to spending the afternoons into evenings with Ryan. If it was for any other reason, it would’ve been the realization of all of his fantasies since summer began. But with less smoothies and more sex.

Ryan signed a distracted “see you later,” and Chad showed himself out. He’d hoped he hadn’t just set their friendship back again, not when it had been getting so much better.

 

********

 

Chad spent his Saturday at home, practicing his sign language and hanging out with all his friends who weren’t Ryan, none of which he’d seen since the Evanses came back to East High.

Zeke came over to thank him, saying that him helping take care of Ryan freed up a little bit more of Sharpay’s time so they could see each other. Chad wondered for a moment if Zeke was as self-centered about their relationship as Sharpay was about everything else. Maybe that’s why it worked.

Gabi and Taylor brought over what they called “Liquid Brownie,” which ended up being Gabi’s mom’s famous brownies, blended with a chocolate breakfast drink and a little bit of raw batter. Chad told them that it was a great idea, and that Ryan would love it. He was getting really fucking sick of the liquid diet, even though their live-in cook was always trying out crazy new recipes.

“You know, you guys can come over and see him,” Chad said when a good majority of them met up for lunch.

“We don’t want to overwhelm him,” Taylor said.

“We can start a rotation,” Gabriella suggested. “Chad’s did it Friday, I can go on Monday, Taylor can go on Tuesday, like that.”

“Nope,” Chad said. “I’m not gonna stay home unless he asks me to,” he said, not caring that it was selfish, or made his devotion to the other boy incredibly transparent.

“Oh, of course not,” Taylor cooed, as if she found his pathetic routine of masochism adorable. “We can’t separate the love birds.” His friends laughed, and it wasn’t meant to be malicious but it hurt all the same.

“Don’t joke like that,” he cut in seriously, the anger and sadness in his tone promptly putting an end to the laughter. “That’s not what he wants and I don’t like being reminded. It sucks.”

Troy wrapped an arm around his shoulders, squeezing him tightly, telling him that he was a catch and any man would be lucky to have him. _‘And Ryan thinks he has a problem with gay people,’_ Chad thought, rolling his eyes and squirming away from the noogie Troy’s hug was turning into.

“Are you going over tomorrow?” Kelsi asked, taking a sip of her milkshake.

“If he asks me to, yeah,” Chad said, hoping he’d get the text.

“I’ll text Ryan, see if I can come, too,” she said and Chad smiled.

“I think he’d really like that.”

 

********

 

When the text arrived, telling Chad he should come over early on Sunday morning, he texted Kelsi and asked if she wanted a ride. She didn’t text back right away, so Chad left without her. It probably wasn’t something a good friend would do, but he really just wanted to see Ryan again. Kelsi could get a ride from her parents, or more likely, Sharpay would go get her. Those two were starting to become real friends now, instead of master and servant,

When he arrived at the Evans’, it was Sharpay who answered the door. She looked at him with what he thought was new appreciation, and he wondered if Ryan cleared up the Troy thing with her.

“Is Kelsi coming over today?” he asked her as she shut the door. She shook her head.

“He only asked for you.”

She sent him to Ryan’s room, said he was waiting for him there. Chad sort of loved that he now knew where Ryan’s room was. He still wished it was for another reason, though.

He pushed open the door and saw Ryan propped against his pillows, still looking sleepy and soft in his pajamas. Soft looking dance pants wrapped tightly around his legs, baggy around his hips; in a word, enticing. Chad was surprised to see that he slept in a plain blue tshirt. He wasn’t excepting a sequined tuxedo, but something a little more flashy, even for sleep. It made his eyes shine like jewels against his purple skin.

It was then that he saw the bruises. Not the ones on his face, he would never be used to those but at least he knew to expect them. Ryan hadn’t worn short sleeves since he’d been back to school. Now Chad could see why. Handprints were clear on his arms, spotted with other bruises on his forearms, but the image of big hands wrapped tight around the boy’s arms was pressed darkly into his pale skin. Chad counted four handprints, one at each wrist and one on each bicep. Like someone had held him still.

Ryan’s greeting smile faded as Chad hung just inside the doorway, still and shocked, staring at those bruises and trying to stop the fury that was burning him up.

“Oh, sorry,” Ryan said. “I got used to them and forgot.”

That broke Chad out of his stupor.

“You’re talking,” he exclaimed excitedly. This was progress, this was great. Ryan smiled in agreement.

“Yeah, I’m talking again,” he said, and his voice did sound different, coming from behind a wall of teeth, but he was enunciating carefully and with his split lip nearly healed, he sounded good. Like music to Chad’s ears.

“That’s amazing,” Chad said, finally crossing the room, going to take his usual place on the chaise until Ryan patted the bed next to him. He climbed in, trying not to appear too eager, settling next to him and nearly being swallowed by the pillows. He passed over the Brownie shake Gabi had made and Ryan took a sip.

“No, _this_ is amazing!” he said, and Chad could not stop smiling at hearing his voice again.

“How long have you been talking?” he asked. A look of guilt crossed over his bruised face quickly.

“A couple days, maybe four.”

“Oh,” Chad said, surprised. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well, before, it hurt a lot, to try to talk,” Ryan said and Chad nodded along. “And then a couple days ago, I tried and I could do it, but I didn’t want to, because I didn’t want to talk about what happened.”

Chad held his breath.

“And now I want to tell you what happened,” Ryan finished very quietly.

“Okay,” Chad said just as quietly, saying the words just into the space between them, turning onto his side to look at Ryan’s profile directly as the injured boy reclined further in his bed, like he was trying to disappear.

“Remember the locker room, last summer?” Ryan asked, and wow wasn’t that a dumb question.

“Of course I do,” Chad mumbled.

“Remember what I said to you? That you weren’t the first.”

“And that I wouldn’t be the last,” Chad finished, woodenly. He had dreams about those words sometimes.

“I was telling the truth,” Ryan said, leaning his head back into the pillows like holding it up was too hard. He addressed the ceiling. “It’s happened before. A lot of guys, jocks mostly, will come to me, bicurious and interested, wanting to see if it’s better with a guy. It happened again.”

Chad sucked in a harsh breath, opening his mouth to say something, but Ryan held a hand up, silencing him.

“Just, wait until I’m done. I need to say it all at once,” he said, taking a sip of his drink. “So I stayed after school to help Darbus file and store all of Kelsi’s scripts and scores from the musical. The football team had played their last match or whatever the week before, and when I was leaving the auxiliary storage building, three of them were back behind the field. I guess they’d been drinking, reliving the glory days, or whatever. They were the type to have been good enough in high school, but not good enough for college. It was McVoy, and his two friends. I don’t remember their names. But they were drunk, and they’d always given me a hard time, so I tried to avoid them by walking back into the aux building. But they saw me, I guess, and followed me, or maybe that’s where they’d been drinking in the first place, I don’t know.

As soon as they closed the doors they surrounded me. I was a little worried, but I figured it would just be the usual taunting, you know? Call me a fag, maybe pushing me around between them for a little bit. I really wasn’t expecting the first hit. I’ve gotten beat up before, but usually I mouth off a little first, to get them to throw the first punch. But I didn’t even say anything. I didn’t do anything. I was just there.”

Chad reached a hand out, fingers light on Ryan’s wrist, trailing down until Ryan opened his hand and twined their fingers together.

“They started hitting me, over and over. There were three of them, I couldn’t fight back, eventually I fell down. Tried to curl up, but they just kept kicking me. I think that’s when most of my ribs broke.”

“I’m sorry,” Chad whispered, sliding closer to his side.

“It’s not over,” he said, with a terrible laugh. “McVoy. He, uh, he told the others to stop. Said that they didn’t want a little fairy to go to waste now that they caught one. Maybe a joke about three wishes or something. It was dumb, it didn’t make any sense but they laughed anyway because they were idiots. But then they grabbed me, and pulled me up onto my knees. I remember the ground being really cold. One of them held my arms, and the other one stood behind me and grabbed my head. I guess I was a little out of it from when one of them kicked my head, but I didn’t really figure out what they were going to do until the one behind me pulled my mouth open.

I couldn’t believe what was happening, you know? Like, you never prepare for that kind of thing. I’ve given blowjobs before, I liked it even, it makes you feel good, but this wasn’t anything like that. McVoy unzipped his pants and slapped me in the face with it. He said if I bit him, he’d break my jaw.” Ryan smiled a little as he took a sip, that small, smug but not happy look he has. “You’re hurting my hand,” he said, and it took Chad a second to realize that that was directed at him. His grip around Ryan’s pale hand was white knuckled, and he let go, not wanting to add any more bruises to his skin.

“I started to struggle more, I guess, now that it was real. I couldn’t move my head, the guy behind me had a hand on my forehead, holding me back against his stomach, and I could feel him getting hard against the back of my neck. The guy holding my arms just pulled tighter, and I guess he was standing to one side of me, because when I tried to shake free, I swear one of my shoulders almost dislocated. I’d popped one out in a dance routine, and I knew if I pulled too hard, it would happen again.

And then he was in my mouth and I couldn’t breathe. The angle was bad and he was really rough, and I never had time to breathe. That’s when my nose broke. He kept hitting my throat and then pushing farther, and I kept gagging and coughing. And when you gag, all the muscles in your chest and stomach squeeze, and I knew I had a bunch of cracked ribs and it was like every time he hit my throat, my own body was pushing on my broken bones. And then he pushed into my throat and he didn’t pull out. He just stayed there. I couldn’t breathe, there was blood in my nose and he wasn’t moving, and I started to panic. I think maybe he was kissing the guy holding my mouth open, because after a minute, or a second, I don’t know, it felt like forever, the hand on my chin loosened a little. And I bit.

After that it’s kind of a blur. I know he screamed, and there was blood in my mouth, but I don’t know how much was his and how much was mine because then he was just wailing on my face. I couldn’t move, I could barely breathe. I don’t know how long it lasted. I don’t know how much longer it went on after I passed out. I just know that when I woke back up, I was alone and they’d smashed my phone. It was dark by the time the security guard found me. She called 9-1-1, and when I got to the hospital, they called Sharpay for me.

Half my ribs were cracked or broken, the tendons holding my shoulder together were sprained, I had a concussion, a broken nose and a broken jaw. Luckily the jaw was a clean break so I didn’t need surgery. I could’ve gone back to school that Wednesday, but I didn’t think I could, not while they were still there. I mean, it happened on campus. Sharpay kept saying I’d be safe, she’d make sure. I think she feels guilty, because she was supposed to help Mrs. Darbus with me. I'm glad she wasn’t. It could’ve been a lot worse if they’d gone after her. But once my mom came home to deal with things, they moved faster. They were expelled first and arrested second, everyone’s parents are bribing the school to keep it quiet. I’m pretty sure my parents are going to sue if they don’t go to prison.

It really sucks, you know, feeling that powerless and stuff. The soft tissue of my throat was bruised and damaged and stuff, so they didn’t know when I’d be able to talk, and I felt so helpless. And then Sharpay showed up with a sign language tutor, saying there was no way she was going to go through this whole thing, with the doctors and the lawyers and the police, without hearing me speak for myself.” A tear slipped down onto his cheek and he moved to wipe it away, but Chad was faster, sliding his thumb across the smooth, mottled skin. “You’re crying, too, you know,” Ryan said, voice shaking a little from behind his teeth.

“No I’m not,” Chad said, but when he touched his cheeks, his hand came away wet. “Sorry,” he said, though he wasn’t sure why.

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, with a wet, wincing laugh. Chad touched the hem of his shirt.

“Can I see?” he asked, pulling gently.

“Why?” Ryan signed, apparently tired of talking.

“Because I really want to hug you right now, and I need to know where it’s safe,” he said, not caring that his voice sounded choked and thick. Ryan just nodded, sitting up slowly and pulling his shirt over his head with tiny movements. Chad was afraid to help, afraid he would hurt him, afraid he wouldn’t be welcome. Ryan’s strong, narrow body was covered in bruises, his sides and around each pec was mottled with color, most green and yellow with age. He had a very shoe-shaped bruise that was still dark on one side of his stomach, but the other was clear, the skin milky and flawless, how every inch of him should look.

“Can I touch you?” Chad asked, hand hovering over his skin. Ryan nodded as he settle back against his pillows, looking exhausted. “Tell me if I hurt you.” Chad slid down the bed, burrowing one arm under Ryan’s body, around his waist, low enough to hopefully avoid the bruising wrapping around his ribs. He rested his head on his stomach, his flat abs twitching under the tickle of his hair, hugging him around his waist. Ryan wrapped a cool hand around the back of his neck. He thought that maybe his face was still getting wet, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was how lucky he was to have this boy in his arms.

They slept. Or maybe just dozed. Or maybe they just laid there in silence, absorbing, processing, being grateful and being angry. Chad barely noticed when Sharpay came in, handing Ryan a little cup of medicine before sliding into bed on his other side. She cried louder than either of them, but it was still quiet. He didn’t know how long it was until Sharpay’s phone broke the spell, ringing loudly and rousing them from their meditative rest.

“It’s mom, I’ll tell her how you’re doing,” she said, wiping her face as she left the room.

Ryan tugged on Chad’s curls, motioning for him to come up the bed. He did, straightening out, relinquishing his hold on the dancer’s slim hips. Ryan stared at him, questions in his eyes.

“Why tell me now?” Chad asked, getting a little lost in his blue eyes.

“Because I trust you,” Ryan whispered, lips barely moving with how soft the words were. “Because you weren’t like the others. You kissed me like you wanted me for me. You told your best friend about me. You wanted to be my friend.” A shaking, pale hand handed on his cheek.

“It took you this long to figure that out?” Chad laughed, even though it wasn’t funny.

“It took me this long to believe it.”

“That’s dumb,” Chad said, turning his head enough to brush his lips against Ryan’s wrist, kissing a bruise. “Even Mrs. Darbus knows I’m crazy about you.”

“I didn’t want to be a closet case,” Ryan said, voice rasping. “I’m proud of who I am, I still am, even now. I didn’t want to be with you if it had to be a secret.”

“It never would’ve been a secret,” Chad said, placing a tentative hand on that one patch of clear skin on his bare stomach, skin pebbling with goose bumps. “I thought, this summer, that after we kissed, we were gonna be together. I mean, it sounds dumb now, to think that anyone you put your hands on automatically becomes your boyfriend, but I’d never done anything like that before, and I wanted you so much.”

“I’m sorry,” Ryan signed, taking the hand from Chad’s cheek to make the motion between them.

“Don’t be, I get it.”

“Do you still?” Ryan signed, looking both hopeful and heartbroken.

“Still want to be with you? Fuck, yes, of course I do,” he said, tipping his head forward so their foreheads touched. “Whatever you want. You’ve been through so much, and you’re still getting better. So whatever you need from me, you’ve got it. I’m sure you’re not thinking about romance or forever right now, so if you want me to just stay your friend, I can do that, too.”

“Thank you,” Ryan signed, his hand touching Chad’s chin as it moved between them. They were quiet for a moment, and Chad felt Ryan’s forehead crease into a wince as he cleared his throat. “You’ve been thinking about forever?” he managed to say, though it was quiet and rough.

“Only everyday since the summer ended,” he admitted, though it made his cheeks hot and his palms sweat. He tilted his head to press a kiss to Ryan’s forehead.

He wasn’t sure where this left them. Whether they were moving forward or just moving closer, but that wasn’t important right now. Ryan was important to him, and that wasn’t going to change.

 

********

 

At school, the next week, not much was different. Ryan still signed when his throat was tired, but spoke when he could. The soft muscles of his throat were healing quicker than the bones of his face, so he’d be talking full time before the wires came off. He let Chad sit close to him, let Chad walk him to class, let him worry and fret and make sure he was drinking enough.

At lunch on Wednesday of that week, Zeke unknowingly broke the peace.

“Hey, did you hear those three football players that expelled last week are in jail now?” He said to Troy, distractedly. Ryan went rigid at his side, dropping his gold tumbler to the tabletop.

“Yeah, no one knows why,” Troy said, oblivious as usual. “The coach is being really vague about it. Apparently the guys didn’t really have close friends other than each other, so no one cares that much.”

“Still makes you wonder, though,” Zeke said. Chad watched a frighteningly quick silent conversation take place between the Evans twins. Sharpay looked like she might’ve been offering to kill her boyfriend, and Ryan looked like he was trying to calm his breathing. Chad put a feather light hand on his thigh under the table. Ryan covered his hand with his own, squeezing tightly.

He nodded to Sharpay, and Chad hoped he was approving something other than Zeke’s murder.

“They probably didn’t have any friends because they were homophobic assholes,” She said firmly. “They got arrested because they picked a fight with the wrong family.” She and Ryan grinned as connections were made around the table.

“Oh, they were the ones who…” Gabi said, trailing off delicately.

“Doesn’t matter now,” Ryan said. “It’s over.”

And it almost was. Ryan still had a little over a week with the wires, and a week or two more before his skin was clear of bruises and his ribs were strong enough for him to dance again. There was still the trial, the Evanses pressing charges against all three attackers, which would be hard, but Chad was sure they’d win.

 

********

 

Chad wasn’t allowed to go with Ryan on the day the wires were taken off. Ryan said it would be gross and that Chad wasn’t allowed to come over until he was able to brush every single side of every single one of his teeth. When he arrived at the Evans’ house, he didn’t know who Ryan was smiling at more, him or the bag of potato chips he was holding. He hugged them both, still a little gentle with himself, but able to move in his full range, muscles sliding over his bones with their usual grace.

Sharpay herded them into the cinema, telling Chad if he wanted to be here, he better be quiet. This was her time with Ryan, not his. So he sat quietly on the couch while the musical played, watching the lights play off of Ryan’s happy eyes as he sang every number with his sister. Now at least, Ryan leaned against his side resting his head on his shoulder, letting Chad wrap a loose arm around him. He let his palm rest on his belly, feeling it rise and fall with each breath he took as he sang.

When Sharpay’s time with him was over, and Ryan pulled Chad up to his bedroom, Chad couldn’t help but think how much he missed his laugh. Sparkling and colorful, like everything about the boy, it floated out of his open mouth like music. When they crashed onto his bed, burying themselves in endless pillows, Ryan still moving carefully but so incredibly free, Chad told him so.

“What else did you miss?” he asked, grinning wide and boyishly, eyes glittering with it.

“I missed your teeth,” Chad said, sliding closer on his side, so he could run a finger tip over the other man’s lip. “Is that weird to say?”

“Yes,” Ryan laughed, nipping at his finger.

“Well I did,” he said unrepentant. “I missed seeing them when you smiled, I missed seeing you sing. I missed seeing you bite your lip.” His voice hushed as he found himself staring at Ryan’s mouth. The split in his lip was now just a fine, pink line, and he was mesmerized by how active his mouth was. After weeks of seeing him so still, now having his tongue wetting his lips, his perfect teeth pressing into the flesh, bright pink lips pulling into wide open smiles, it was almost too much.

“Do you want to kiss me?” Ryan asked, and Chad met his gaze so he was sure to see when he rolled his eyes dramatically.

“I always want to kiss you, that was such a dumb questions, Evans. You’re supposed to be the smart one.”

The end of his sentence was muffled by the press of Ryan’s lips, laughing even as his kissed him. Chad kissed back, swallowing his laughter until they were just kissing, slowly and sweetly. Ryan curled a hand around Chad’s hip, pulling on him, tugging him closer until they were pressed together on his bed. Chad’s hands were careful, light enough not to hurt any lingering bruising, heavy enough not to tickle. He touched him gently, a little bit everywhere, cupping his still colored cheek, sliding over his still sore ribs, folding over the sharp point of his hip bone, wrapping around his back to pull them even closer together.

Ryan turned his head away with a heavy gasp and whatever hat he was wearing that day tumbled off the bed.

“Sorry,” he said, breathless. “It’s still hard for me to breathe through my nose.”

“It’s okay,” Chad mumbled, lips pressed to his cheek. He lipped down to his jaw, setting his teeth delicately around the bone, breathing against his skin. “Can I keep kissing you?” he asked, lips sliding over his jawbone.

“Yeah,” Ryan answered, still sounding breathless, tipping his head up. Chad followed the motion, pressing his lips to the hollow under his ear, sliding down the tendon in his neck as Ryan turned his head, jutting out in sharp relief. Chad fit his mouth around the curve of his trapezius, daring with a flicker of tongue, emboldened when Ryan hummed a soft encouragement. A pale, longer fingered hand grabbed hold of his hair, holding him tightly as he carefully shifted onto his back. Chad followed willingly, letting himself be led, settling happily over Ryan, moving to taste his throat, appreciating the way it buzzed under his mouth as Ryan sighed.

“Is this okay?” he asked, as he settled his weight on his elbows, one leg pressed between Ryan’s, their chests touching as they breathed.

“This is perfect,” Ryan murmured, pulling their lips back together, kisses now wet and hungry.

“Don’t let me hurt you,” Chad gasped against his lips, Ryan’s tongue flickering out to tease at his lips.

“You wouldn’t,” he said with such confidence that it made Chad’s heart swell, and he was probably ruining the playful hunger of the kiss when he whined in the back of his throat and kissed Ryan with a neediness that underlined how much he felt for this boy. He thought that maybe it should be the other way around. He thought that maybe it wasn’t the bruised boy underneath him that needed to worry about being hurt. _‘Don’t let me let you hurt me,’_ is what Chad should’ve said.

This time it was Chad to pull away, breathing harshly into the curve of his neck, Ryan’s hands running soothingly over his back.

“Is this, um, is this like it was over the summer?” Chad asked, hiding his face in the pale expanse of skin before him, thankfully unbruised and safe. “It’s okay if it is, I just want to know beforehand, so I can, you know, be ready.”

“Would it really be okay?” Ryan asked, and Chad was glad he couldn’t see his face, because he couldn’t have hidden how much that hurt. He shook a little, when Ryan ran his fingertips over his shoulders and down his arms, where he held himself over the boy he loved.

“Yeah,” he lied. “Whatever you want.”

Ryan fisted both hands in his hair and pulled him into a kiss that was hungry and biting and Chad kissed him back with everything he had. Who knew agony would taste so good.

Ryan pulled back, holding Chad in place with hands on his face, forcing eye contact.

“You’re a liar, Danforth,” he said, and Chad closed his eyes.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Hey,” he said, shaking his head lightly, shocking his eyes open. “I don’t want last summer again. I want someone who worries about me and cares for me. Someone who puts me first.” Ryan’s blue eyes were shining, crystalline and beautiful.

“Please,” Chad said, and he didn’t care that he was begging. “Please let that be me. Let me show you, I want you so bad.”

“Chad, you don’t have to show me anything, it’s you. It’s _been_ you.”

It took everything in Chad not to just collapse on top of him, to smother him in relief and joy. He settled for kissing him, happy and full, both of them smiling, grinning against each other’s teeth. It wasn’t the right time, to tell Ryan he loved him. But he thought that he might know it already. He certainly kissed him like he knew it was true.

Hands wandered, first as each of them tried to hold the other as close as possible, and then as they sunk into each other, kisses becoming slow and drugging as their hands took their time tracing patterns of heat on their skin.

“It really doesn’t bother you?” Ryan asked, causing Chad to look up from where he was kissing across his chest, shirts gone.

“What doesn’t bother me?” he asked, nipping at Ryan’s flat, rosy nipple, as pink as his lips.

“The bruises,” Ryan said with an air of obviousness. “They’re ugly.”

“Of course they bother me,” Chad said, pulling himself up to sit astride Ryan’s hips. Ryan’s hands wrapped around his knees, squeezing gently. “I hate that they’re there, but they’re not ugly. It’s still all you.”

“But they look so gross,” Ryan said, trailing his own fingers over his mottled and marked skin with dissatisfaction.

“Are you bothered by the color of my skin?” Chad asked, grabbing his pale hand in his dark hand, wool against wood.

“Of course not,” Ryan said, watching his other hand drag teasingly down Chad’s bare stomach.

“So why should yours bother me?”

“Because its not supposed to look like this,” Ryan said as he gestured to the bruising still ringing his eyes and clotting over his cheeks.

“It’s just skin,” he said, leaning over him to take his lips in a firm kiss. “It’s still just as soft,” he trailed his fingers along the inside of his arm, where his skin was softest, until he wrapped their fingers together again. “It’s just as warm,” he flattened his other palm low on his stomach, under the ripples of his abs, where his muscles were taut and the skin lightly furred. Ryan grumbled under him as the tease, teeth flashing against his lip.

“Do you want to?” Chad asked, his pinky finger just edging under Ryan’s waistband.

“Yeah,” he breathed. “Yes, definitely.” He pushed his hips up into his palm, wincing when his ribs twinged in protest.

“Shh,” Chad hushed him, though he hadn’t made a sound. He pressed a kiss to his lips before sitting up to pull apart Ryan’s obscenely expensive belt and pants.

“Have you done anything else with a guy?” Ryan asked, watching those big hands dance delicately over his clothes.

“Just you,” he said, slinking down the bed to kiss under his belly button, nosing at his underwear as he slid his pants down his legs.

“I can’t wait to get in your ass,” Ryan said, closing his eyes and tipping his head up against the pillows. Imagining. “Straight boys are always so tight, so surprised at how much they love it.”

“Hey,” Chad said, pulling himself away, frowning when Ryan met his eye again. “Stop talking about me like I’m another straight jock you’re going to corrupt with your gay ways. I got over not being straight months ago, you should probably get with the program.” He quirked a brow and Ryan just grinned.

“Okay, sorry,” he said. “You will be so tight, though.” Chad groaned, pressing a palm to his dick still in his pants, folding over to bury his face in his partner’s hip.

“You’ll take care of me,” he said, voice thick with desire, and Ryan grinned at the ceiling, looking incredibly pleased with himself.

“I’ll take such good care of you,” he promised, planting his fingers in Chad’s curls, as he mouthed lazily over the purple silk of his boxers.

“Me first.” Ryan didn’t even get the breath to laugh or tease before Chad was peeling the fabric over his cock and licking at the head. He rumbled at the soft, salt taste of precome slicking his skin, liking the way his tongue slid easily over the wet flesh. Ryan moaned, hips twitching under his broad palms, reminding Chad that he’d only revealed the head. He pulled back far enough to tug the ridiculously luxurious fabric over surprisingly firm thighs, climbing off of Ryan long enough to pull them over his feet, before settling back over his knees and taking his cock in hand.

Breath caught in Ryan’s throat as Chad mouthed at his cock, learning the feel of it under his lips, hand squeezing around the base.

“Oh my god,” he moaned breathlessly when Chad closed his mouth around the head and suckled. “That’s so good.”

“Tell me what to do,” Chad said, pulling off, voice thick with spit as his mouth watered on the cock before him. He was aware of his inexperience, aware that Ryan had done this before, had had this before. But he wanted to be good for him. He wanted to know exactly how he liked it.

“Just like you were,” Ryan murmured to him, one hand on his cheek guiding him back down. Chad took him gently into his mouth, suckling lightly, tongue moving restlessly against the head. “You can get your tongue right under my head,” he directed, voice like gravel, only getting darker when Chad did what he was told, flickering his tongue against the underside of his head. “Good, God, you’re so good,” Ryan groaned. “Take a little more.”

Chad slid his mouth lower, finding he really liked the way his dick filled his mouth, taking up the space there and pressing on his palette. He bobbed his head, relishing in the soft slide of the glans filling him, and in the moan Ryan let slip. His lips met his hand, wrapped around the bottom half of his dick, and Chad realized that though his mouth was already full, he only had half or Ryan’s cock in it. He pulled off, slurping as he did, feeling sloppy.

“You’re big,” he commented, opening his hand to press his mouth against the base, sliding up with his tongue.

“Uh huh,” was all Ryan said, his hands fisting in his duvet as Chad’s fingers played with the head of his cock, his tongue wrapped around the root.

“I like it in my mouth,” he said and Ryan whimpered, his stomach contracting as his hips kicked up into his face.

“Then put it back,” he said through teeth that sounded like they were gritted.

“Hey, don’t clench your jaw,” he advised before swallowing his cock down again. Ryan followed his advice, or else his jaw fell open of its own accord as Chad introduced the back of his throat to the head of his cock.

“Fuck, oh my God,” Ryan gasped as Chad gagged against him, not pulling back, just letting his throat flutter and his mouth water. He stroked what didn’t fit, realizing he’d forgotten about his tongue when he focused on his throat. He tried to do both, to swirl his tongue while teasing at the back of his throat, and ended up coughing, pulling back to drag in a deep breath.

“Sorry,” he said, and his voice sounded rougher than before.

“Don’t be, you’re doing so good,” Ryan said, hands petting over his face and his hair. His legs shifted under Chad, like he couldn’t lay still. Chad grinned, kissing Ryan’s palm with his wet lips before diving back down. “Suck a little,” Ryan said, pushing Chad’s bangs away so he could watch his lips stretch tight about his cock. Chad did, sucking gently as his tongue swirled around the head. “No, c’mon, suck me,” he said again, pushing gently at the back of his head. Chad moaned around his cock, mouth falling open as he eagerly followed the direction to take more. He closed his lips again and sucked, his head going quiet as Ryan let out another quiet groan. He liked his hand on the back of his head, liked the direction, liked giving pleasure.

Ryan’s legs shifted under his again, one of them bending at the knee and pressing against the inside of Chad’s.

“Are you okay?” he asked, pulling off and letting Ryan slide easily through his fist, soaked with spit.

“Yeah, just,” Ryan panted, shifting his leg again. Chad leaned to the side, freeing that leg from under him and Ryan pulled it up, letting it fall open. “Can you—I like it when—” His face was flushed, even under the bruising. He let his head fall back and closed his eyes. “You can play with my hole, if you want.”

“Fuck,” Chad gasped, his whole body suddenly five degrees hotter as those words rang in his ears. “Fuck, yes.” He shifted to lie between his legs, pushing at the other one to lie over his shoulder, stroking his hand up the hard thigh of the leg bent for him. He pushed, gently, testing Ryan’s flexibility, and though it was hardly surprising how bendy the boy was, he moaned all the same when he was able to push his leg up and out, perpendicular to his body until his knee touched the blankets.

He fell back on his dick like a man starving, shoving his face down over it, sucking as Ryan bit back a moan. He slid his hand back down his thigh, fitting his palm against the cut of his groin, feeling how cool his skin felt where hip met leg. He kept moving down, sliding back to cup the curve of his ass, also firm and surprisingly muscled. Chad squeezed and moaned at the give, the soft strength just underneath. His fingers edged inwards.

“Yeah,” Ryan mumbled in encouragement, one hand resting on the back of his bobbing head, the other pulling his knee up, spreading him further. Chad’s thumb found his furled hole, pressing gently and Ryan sighed, a spurt of precome hitting the roof of Chad’s mouth. He circled his thumb, trying to keep rhythm with the circling of his tongue, but it was so much to keep track off.

He pulled off, gasping nosily, stroking with one hand while he watched his thumb play at the edge of his hole.

“Fuck, Ryan,” he whispered, listening to his partner’s moans turn to whimpers as he massaged the head of his cock with wet fingers, circling his hole with a dry thumb.

“You’re so good for me,” he moaned, perhaps a little too loud. “Keep doing that, yeah, circle,” he said, his directions becoming breathy and fractured. “Press a little harder. _Fuck,_ yes, like that.” He gripped harder at the hair at the back of Chad’s head. “Suck me, babe, I’m close.” Chad didn’t want to give up the view but just the reminder of what his mouth could be doing had it watering again.

He pulled him into his mouth, working his tongue and sucking hard. He fitted his other hand around the base, stroking tightly, focusing on what he could fit in his mouth.

“So good, so good,” Ryan said fingers clenching in his hair before letting go to grip his shoulders. “I’m close, I’m close, fuck, baby, I’m gonna come,” he babbled, knuckles popping as he dug into his shoulders, hips rocking into his mouth and his thumb. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” he warned, and Chad pulled off after getting a single shot of come on his tongue, stroking him off the rest of the way onto his stomach, heaving as it was with orgasm.

“God, Ryan, fuck you’re amazing,” he panted, rubbing his forehead against the groove of his hip, stroking him still with one hand, the other dropping from his hole to grip himself, thrusting down against the mattress. “You’re incredible, so sexy.” Ryan was still gasping and whimpered, writhing as Chad wrung out a few, last spurts of come from him.

“C’mere,” he mumbled. “Come kiss me.” Chad was powerless to do otherwise. He drug himself up the other man’s slighter frame, relishing in the wide splay of his legs and the come clinging wetly to his skin. Ryan kissed him, hands finding the same bruises he dug in when he came, sore spots on his shoulders. They squeezed teasingly before falling to slide Chad’s basketball shorts down over his cock. Chad’s breath caught when his slim hand wrapped around him.

“I’m so close,” he whined, pressing the words into his mouth. “Please, Ryan, you’re so perfect,” he babbled, vision crossing as Ryan stroked him with a hand slick with his own come.

“Fuck my fist, c’mon,” Ryan urged sleepily, voice warm and thick, his other hand coming around to grip Chad’s ass, feeling it flex and obey as he pushed into that slick channel. “You were so good for me,” he murmured and Chad groaned, so close to coming. “You suck cock so well, gorgeous, absolutely perfect.” Chad whined as he came, in the back of his throat, barley having the air for noise as his hips stuttered into his partner’s fist, splattering his stomach with more come, gasping and panting over him, sweaty and wrung out.

He had the presence of mind to collapse to the side, instead of directly onto his partner, but he still wrapped around him like he couldn’t bear not to be touching. He caught his breath gradually, face pressed to the cool skin of Ryan’s arm.

“You give a lot of praise when your dick’s hard,” Ryan commented idly, fingers swirling patterns into the come pooling in the ridges of his abs.

“You give really good directions,” Chad panted, slapping his hand down in the middle of the mess to curl around Ryan’s.

“You like that, don’t you?” he teased. Chad just closed his eyes and hummed in the affirmative, holding his hand. “You like to cuddle, too, don’t you?” he asked, a teasing smile in his voice.

“The last time I had sex, as soon as we were done he told me that I was just a one time thing, and I wouldn’t be the last one,” Chad said simply. “So excuse me if I don’t want to let you go yet.”

“Okay,” Ryan said quietly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He pulled him in close to his side and then held him there, close against his heart. “I’m not letting you go either.”

Chad smiled, pulling away a little, knowing that Ryan was willingly hurting his ribs for him. Chad didn’t want anything to hurt Ryan again. Chad also thought that maybe as much as he wanted to take care of Ryan, maybe Ryan also wanted to take care of him. Maybe they’d take care of each other.

 

********

 

“I give really good head, you know.”

“I bet you do,” he said, sleepily, sometime later.

“I thought about sucking your cock just now, but I started to panic a little and I really don’t want to.”

“I didn’t ask you to. I won’t ask you to.”

“I don’t know when I’ll be able to do it again.”

“I’m not with you just for your mouth. Your mouth is only maybe four percent of why I like you.”

 

********

 

“So are we boyfriends now?”

“Do you want to be?”

“Do _you_ want to be?”

“Yes. Please.”

“Well okay, then. But you might have to start dressing better. I have a reputation, after all.”

 

********

 

“Are you ready?”

“Are _you_ ready?”

“Hey, everyone already knows I’m as gay as the sun.”

“Everyone already knows I’m crazy about you. I think they inferred the queer part. Holding you hand is nothing after that.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s easy to confirm it. Sometimes there’s a little majesty in rumors.”

“I’m pretty sure suspicions were confirmed when I tried to learn a new language just to talk to you. People get mail order brides and don’t even try that hard.”

“Sweetie, we both know I’m not the bride in this situation.”

 

********

 

“The trial is coming up.”

“I know.”

“Gabriella wants to know if you want anyone to be there. You know, to support you.”

“Then they’d know about the… the rape part.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know. It’s been months, I feel like I’ve kind of gotten passed it. I’m worried if they all find out, they’ll treat me like it just happened, like they have to be careful with me again.”

“Still, it might be nice having them there, in case you need anything.”

“But, I’ve already got you. Between you and my sister, I’ve got everything I need.”

“Yeah. Yeah, me too.”

…

“Not about the Sharpay part. All I need is you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ryan is cornered and beaten up by three men. Homophobic and rapey language is used, and Ryan is forced into oral sex. It is recounted, in fair detail, after the fact by Ryan to Chad. It is recounted in the victim's own voice


End file.
